How do I forgive daughters mother.?

I have a one year old daughter born 9/14/2007. I was in a very stressful relationship with my daughter. Who is mexican 14 years younger than me. I found out when we got pregnant her papers were not legit. She had a pport but no I-94 or visa. When our daughter was born I was the happiest person in the world. Well in Jan we split up with a lot of bad feeling. But in Jan2008 we got along for a month, but in feb it all changed. I was giving her 50 dollars a week for my daughter, and i was still buying everything for my daughter. She moved back in with her parents and didn't not want to go back to work because her papers are bogus. American (stepfather) Mexican mother, When i found out she was spending money buying tarot card and foolish this for herself. I went and got a Lawyer to go for custody. Now when I did this are relationship never has been the same. She went to the police and said i hit her in dec, But I didn't. i had to do 48 hrs and my hate for her really started. Then what hit the final straw was that I had to take a Paternity test for my name to get on the birth certificate and bam, I was excluded as the father. Now we have a Temporary custody order where i get my daughter Thurs-sun one weekend, fri sat the next because the judge new the truth but was bound by laws. I cant contact my daughter mother till dec, but her family has helped me so much especially her mother. Just was told last week the best i could get by Lawyer was joint custody but child support will go down by different scale. Because since child is only 1 unless abuse or drug abuse, child stays with mother. I could have stopped everything in july but when im with my daughter she knows im her father, in the court papers it states im her father so legal wise she is mine. And she is and will always be. I could never just walk away it would be devestating. I know i wasnt the best for this woman, but i never hit her, and she had to know there was a chance i might not be the biological father. My question is: How do I forgive her, It has Been a tough 2008, how do I make 2009 better, I pray that one day the mother and I can go past this and talk get with one another about our daughter. She doest tell me anything about her like bringing her to doctors, but the doctors office calls me when she visits. We just dont talk, and we should, about our daughter, I have this feeling in my gut that i want to hate her so much, like i been used by the mother. But never by my daughter. How can i forgive her, I know that the bible in eph 4:31-32. explains, but how do you make this feeling of hate go away. I tried to put myself in her shoes, I know this cant be easy for her either because I get along good with her family and they know what she has done. She is furious at me because I told her family about the paternity test. But my daughter will never know by me unless she is old enough or medically